end of the year

Whoa, it caught me by surprise. In the past few days the cat I adopted got an infection and I've been running around to try to figure out what it is that is happening to her, then begging my friend who was staying in town to take me to the vet, then the round of lab testing options (expensive, expensive, and the doctor always say that "you have a sick kitty there it's always better to be safe and sure" so I forked out an extra $150 for culture analysis to determine the nature of the infection), trying to trick my cat into taking the pills (tried plugging it into cooked chicken chunk but alas, she is good at separating the pill away), and so, well, it has been quite hectic, and now I realize it is the end of the year, officially.

And speaking of the end of the year I went to Kiehls to use the $20 coupon to stock on some items I was running out of (and can, I think, justify getting) since this will expire today. Giving the musk shower gel and Midnight Restorative eye cream and misting toner a try--I couldn't resist trying the Midnight Restorative oil and well, I think they work, been using it for few months and I took a look at how much I got left and more than half, so what Kiehls offer, they do last.

For new year my sister kindly bought me a new Moleskin planner in red (two years ago I had it in red, then when I went to get ones for this year they were out of red and only had black, and somewhat regretted having the black as it does not stand out in my bag), starting to jot down the "things-to-do" for next year, which is tomorrow.

So phew!

This year was a lot of change for me--I am entering into my 30s and the sudden financial crisis led me to reevaluate the way I relate to things, how I purchase things, what things I may need for the shift in my stage of life from young adult to, well, let's say a bit older but still young adult, shall we. I thought about things I never wore much and things I may want to add--so as a way of reflecting on the year maybe I will list these ins and outs as a way to discern where I may be heading.

Things I rarely or did not use (note to self: donate or sell):

-wedge booties (nice in theory, but, frankly all winter I've been trotting around town in the Golden Goose Charlyle flat boots or the Loeffler Randall rain boots on rainy days, the wedge one I got on sale awhile ago never saw the sun sadly)

-knit dress (yes, again, cute in theory, but the weather triumphs---I'm just not the type to brace the freezing temperature in knit dress, tights, and boots), it just sat there with the tag in tact.

-Moop paperback bag--no criticism intended, I like the spirit of Moop aesthetics, and I was quite excited to place an order for this bag---it just hasn't seen as much action as anticipated, and it probably takes more aging for it to cultivate its best look

Things that came to use to my surprise:

-Vena Cava knit dress---wore it to Thanksgiving party, it's a simple marble grey dress with knot in front which I fell in love with the moment the design came out. Was afraid it was going to sit there in the closet (I mean, where do I wear it to? I am so single) but this party invitation was demanding that we dress up, so I was able to garner that last bit of courage to wear this out.

-Poleci's silk print drape dress--this was for the wedding recital dinner, got it on Gilt for discount and I figured some dress that works for both semi-formal and dressy occasion that was not black is an item that should be in a 30-something's closet. Silk always felt too high maintenance, but they do feel nice, and in contrast to the cotton knits it does feel a bit more grown up.

-the cheerful red moccasin/ballerina flats by Henry Beguelin---I wore it quite a lot actually! Trying bright red far away from face makes it easier to just add, and yes it does add a jolt of energy to the otherwise monotone outfit, red was the color to try out (yet to go for red lips) and this is one thing that surprisingly worked, a great pick me up.

-the wool gauze burgundy red check stole my mother gave me as a gift----in previous winters I'd wrap myself in the sturdy grey cashmere stole and once that sets in, it's repetitive, it's almost automatic and little change happened until the weather get warm enough I can start rotating with other stoles depending on the outfit. I loved the one my mom got me but felt like it was not warm enough so the year before it just sat there in the closet. This year I made sure I used it by shoving it in the vintage military coat's huge pocket (it's gauze so it becomes quite compact in contrast to the huge cashmere one which is bulky)----the red, while very muted, does add life to the outfit, grey is still my mainstay color, but it is neutral and I loved how a bit of warm color does wonder. This has become my new staple, when the weather goes way below freezing point my beloved grey one will have its day.

So more tales about practicality but a bit of venture into places I'd never thought I'd go into--dresses and reds. Maybe I am drawn to this idea of grown up gentlewoman who is versed in colors and forms and the question of what works, who can confidently wear color without worrying if it would be too much. I've been somewhat of a tomboy and in my 20s many of the things I was drawn towards were androgynous or more boyish-adapted to girl items (Steven Alan shirts, structured blazers, a bit of biker-inspired items like the Balenciaga city tote---still love all of it). Lots of blacks, navy, grey, and my love for all things vintage leather or rugged utilitarian goods are present. Now I want a touch of color, and something which can celebrate the more feminine side of me-----maybe I am finally out of my rebellious phase quite belatedly, maybe I am finally getting rid of my reservation about girls getting decked up for the sake of guys' gaze and associating that with my temptation to wear something flirty and putting that piece back---and maybe, maybe I'm somewhat getting over the complex of having really flat chest (seriously, when I go to lingerie store with a friend I just feel depressed that there is nothing there for me and even if I were to put on weight it never goes to the places I wish it did!) and fearing that even if I were to try I can never really be a woman.

This blog has evolved quite a lot since its beginning---I really wanted a place to share my excitements for new designers and how boutiques in the states interpret the designers works and represent the aesthetics of it, how the buyers concoct their own world in a sense, and how we relate to that and build our wardrobes as an extended conversation of what it means to 'be oneself' and cultivate one's own sense of style and direction. Needless to say, it is much fused with my own personal reflection over these matters and how I relate to the clothing. Thanks for continuing to read this blog and I look forward to the future conversations.

May the New Year be a better one for all of us!